I started my blog not more than two weeks ago. The response to my first post was overwhelming, and I enjoyed that people laughed about a somewhat “tragic” date. I like to laugh; I think it’s the best way to get through life. That’s an opinion I’ve always shared, despite my own circumstances. (We’ll get to that later)
Today, a man who brought a lot of laughter decided to take his own life. He battled with addiction and depression.
Robin Williams had a loving family, a successful career in entertainment, a vast fortune and an overflowing talent. But that’s the thing about depression, it doesn’t care.
The news has affected people the world over. They grew up with him, they have laughed with him and they have loved him. This is, of course, a tragedy. However, I believe that some tragedies, and unthinkable hurt, have a reason to exist. Robin may not know this, but even after his passing, he will still be able to create happiness in the coldest of minds, and the warmest of hearts – or at least I hope.
This isn’t just because of his catalogue of classic movies that we can sit around and laugh to, this is because his ‘celebrity’ has and will shed light on to people who are dealing with mental illness and hopefully give them the push they need to reach out to many organisations that are there to help us.
We live in a world where every thought we think, and every move we make, is captured and sent out to the world with a click of a button. Facebook. Twitter. Instagram. We are the Generation Y. Self-entitled narcissists with heavy opinions. Some of these opinions are useful, while others are downright ignorant.
When a famous person dies, the scrutiny starts. I think people are easily angered by the overflowing status updates reading #RIP about people they didn’t know personally. I admit, it can be annoying, but we all believe our voice should be heard. I remember this agression with Winehouse and I’m seeing it now with Williams.
When entertainers pass, you have to realise that this person has touched their lives in some way – through music or artistic expression – they are making you feel something. So there is a connection there, regardless of blood ties. Another opinion is that these artists/people are selfish. They’ve taken their own lives, and we shouldn’t have an ounce of sympathy for them. I recognise that opinion and I can understand it fully, but it doesn’t stop the event being sad. There are families they’ve left behind – but the sufferer has also lived with complete pain and anguish, one that you do not understand, for a very long time.
I have personally said some things I regret on social media and I’ve argued tooth and nail to protect my opinion, but it isn’t until you reflect later on in life and after certain circumstances that happen to you, do you begin to regret them – and I hope for the sake of the smaller-minded people, that they will come to regret them too.
For those that haven’t gone through depression, it isn’t just a mood swing. We can absolutely experience happiness and joy, we can sit and laugh with friends, but it’s only when you’re in your own company does it begin to dwell amongst your thoughts. It is dark. It is lonely. It is cold, relentless and unforgiving.
I have been through depression, and it was a very difficult period. There’s this feeling of worthlessness that you can’t explain. In fact, I would say it’s impossible to explain depression to people that haven’t actually gone through it. It isn’t a sad day where your hormones are on the fritz and you want to cry and watch The Notebook. It’s a sad state of mind where everything you do feels hollow, deep and black. You would rather sleep and dream than to be awake – because being awake is like a living nightmare. Your mind is a strong tool, but it is also the greatest weapon. It is as if it enjoys twisting your thoughts into a self-sabotaging disaster.
A classic fix for the NHS is a prescription for anti-depressants and few therapy sessions however I never took the opportunity to speak with someone. I battled internally for a long time. I used to stop taking my anti-depressants for a few weeks as I didn’t like the ‘numb’ feeling they gave me. It was like I couldn’t feel any form of sadness, and what is human emotions if not a healthy balance? So I would stop, and then not long after, end up having a psychotic breakdown. Unfortunately for me, a healthy emotional balance isn’t on the menu.
I’m not going to bore you with the details of my experience, but I can now say I have made it 10 months without one anti-depressant. It hasn’t been easy, but I’m learning to keep my mind occupied and remain positive. But it will be a life-long struggle. I accept that.
Not every person is built the same way. Not every human brain functions and thinks alike. I am fortunate to have seen the light at the end of the tunnel – and that’s not in a death way – it’s in a ‘I overcame the darkness’ way. Not everyone can do that, and unfortunately many thousands of lives have ended because of it. Suicide can feel like it’s your only option, but there’s so much about life to explore that will one day bring you happiness – or at least that’s the hope.
You have to remember that nobody can change the way you think. You cannot force happiness into someone’s brain. In some ways, depression can be worse than a cancer – cancers can be removed through treatments, but depression is a matter of the mind – and to this day we still don’t fully understand the power of the mind. (This statement isn’t being made flippantly, I have lost close family to cancer and fully understand the severity of the illness – I’m using it as a visual tool)
If we look at today’s news, it is a prime example of a man who put smiles upon millions of faces, but could never manage to put a smile on his own. I don’t mean that in the obvious sense. He smiled. Internally, though – that smile rarely existed.
I didn’t know Robin Williams personally, I knew him – as many did – as a Scottish nanny, a wish-granting Genie, a stubborn yet empathetic therapist and a boy who would never grow up. I hope he is now able to rest in peace and his mind is at ease. I would like to think that he will now be able to exist in the future as an advocate for Mental Illness and help raise awareness to such unfortunate issues. You were a funny man, Robin Williams. You will go down in history as a fantastic actor and comedic legend. Thank you.
Below I have listed some organisations which help people going through many forms of mental health issues – and I sincerely hope that you get the help you need and that you get better. Don’t forget – if you are not a sufferer, you can also donate to some of these organisations so that they continue helping those that are less “mentally fortunate” than you.
Thank you for reading. Stay Strong.
MIND – http://www.mind.org.uk/
Samaritans – http://www.samaritans.org/
SANE – http://www.sane.org.uk/
Rethink – http://www.rethink.org/
Together – http://www.together-uk.org/
If you are aware of any other charities/organisations, please list them in the comment box below.
Sorting Out Stapleton 